Medicare Connect Radio

Picking the Perfect Place for Your Senior Parents

Millennium Physician Group Season 4 Episode 4

It’s time to move your loved one into assisted living. It’s a very hard decision… whether your loved one is for it or against it. Coming to that realization is hard enough, but what about the plethora of choices about where to go? In this episode, Millennium Physician Group’s Michelle McCormick talks with a senior housing placement advisor about important steps you need to take to make the transition as gentle as possible.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Medicare Connect Radio, sponsored by Millennium Physician Group. I'm Michelle McCormick. Every week we're talking about the healthcare issues that are important to you. Whether you're 65 or older, approaching 65, or maybe you're just making healthcare decisions for a loved one who's in their golden years. We're inviting providers and experts to share insights, to help you take control of your healthcare decisions. Well, it's time to move your loved one into assisted living. It's a very hard decision whether your loved one is for it or against it. Coming to that realization is hard enough. But what about the plethora of choices about where to go? In this episode, we're talking with a senior housing placement advisor about important steps you need to take to make the transition as gentle as possible. But first founded in Port Charlotte, Florida in 2008, and now headquartered in Fort Myers. Millennium Physician Group has quickly become the leading independent physician group with more than 800 healthcare providers across the southeast nationally. Recognized as a leader in value-based care with consistently high levels of physician engagement. Millennium aims to create a genuinely connected healthcare experience for patients by providing a comprehensive and coordinated approach to healthcare. We also wanna be your connection to a healthier life. Learn more and schedule your next primary care. Visit us online at www.millenniumphysician.com according to assisted living.org. That, yep, it's real website out there folks. Senior seniors residing in assisted living facilities have a monthly average cost ranging from 3,500 to over 10,000 per month. Florida comes in, surprisingly as the least expensive state, as well as one of the most beautiful, of course, assisted living services here, average around$3,000 a month for all inclusive care. Memory care averages about 4,400 and independent living centers averaged around 2300. But, but we are, we're getting way ahead of ourselves. Which one's right though, for your loved one? And we're gonna answer that hopefully today. Our guest today is Dave Steve Glitz. He is a certified Senior advisor with Oasis Senior Advisors in northeast Florida. Dave, hi.

Speaker 2:

. Hi, Michelle. Good to be here. So

Speaker 1:

Happy you're here. This is such a great topic. Um, we, we are going to learn so much about this today, but first, let's learn about Dave. Let's learn about you. What brought you, um, into, into this, uh, arena really?

Speaker 2:

Well, it was, it was an interesting journey. I was 30 years a country club general manager, as you know,<laugh>. Um, and it was a great career, had met a lot of wonderful people, but it was time to do something different. You know, there's a book out there called From Success to Significance. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, and do something meaningful other than wiping the noses of snotty little kids. Right, right. Like to play old sandcastles in your sand traps. Right. Um, so, you know, I was looking at options and I, and I came across this concept of, of this free service that helps people navigate this maze of senior housing. You know, it's often thrust upon them. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you know, mom is living very well at home, you know, and she's been in the home for 30 years and, and she doesn't want to go, but she falls and breaks a hip and the doctor says, you can't go back home. You know, there's stairs, there's narrow pathways and things like that. You have to find assisted living and, you know, here's a list. Right. We'll find one. Right. Right. Now, how are you gonna navigate that? How are you gonna know? I mean, this is where you're gonna live. You know, let's, there's a lot of factors to that. And, and so that, to be able to come in as an expert, a, a subject matter expert, and offer my service for free, I love the business model. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> that I don't have to sell you anything. You don't have to pay me anything, but I'm gonna provide you that service to guide you to the best match for you and your needs.

Speaker 1:

Well, and, and we have a lot of good stories coming up too, Dave. So, but first, let's, let's talk about what you were saying. All of a sudden, this is something that could be thrust upon you and your loved one, and all of a sudden you're a caregiver that you weren't expecting to be, or you've been a caregiver and it's just gotten to be too much. So what I was talking about when we first introduced you was the cost. I mean, it's really expensive and I think they're now with baby boomers and, and more aging people and people living longer. We have a, maybe even a dilemma on our hands of, of where to go. I mean, are these places available? Are they affordable? But let's talk about the assisted living cost and, and how it's paid for.

Speaker 2:

Okay. Yeah. So, and I would say your numbers were a little on the low side. Okay. Okay. I mean, they may be a little outdated. Okay. I mean, I mean, with, with fair enough inflation the last couple years.

Speaker 1:

I agree. They've jumped up.

Speaker 2:

Fair enough. They've jumped up. But I would say, you know, I, well, I can find decent assisted living starting about 2,500 and, and going up from there, but yeah, up easily into the six, seven and 8,000 mm-hmm.<affirmative> memory care, good memory care is gonna run about 5,000 or more. Um, and independent living, I mean, you, you've got your, your HUD subsidized, you know, uh, places dotted around town, but you've got some pretty fancy ones too. Sure

Speaker 1:

Do. They're like really nice, really, really nice cruise ships on land cruise

Speaker 2:

Ships, on land resort type living. Um, that you can get a one bedroom at about 35 to 3,800 and a two bedroom around, you know, in the mid four to, to fives.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Which is costly for some. Yeah. Which is,

Speaker 2:

It

Speaker 1:

Is. Well you touched on something there too. Let's, let's go back. What is the difference then? So let, we talked about independent living. You just mentioned assisted living and you mentioned memory care, but what, and then there's also skilled nursing. So let's define those.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So independent living, there's no license. Okay. Assisted living has to have a license there and license and inspected by the

Speaker 1:

State. Now, are most 55 and over communities gonna be independent living? That's where we are starting with independent living

Speaker 2:

Actually,

Speaker 1:

Or is independent living just me and my house still?

Speaker 2:

Yes. I mean, you have independent, you have, you have the Dell Web communities. Right. You have a variety of plus 55 by deed restriction. Right. Okay. That are independent living. There's no medical component there. Okay. Okay. And then you have a handful of, uh, of, of other types of communities, uh, you know, a Windsor point and inspirations at the town center that, you know, they're providing more than than the Dell Web, cuz they're gonna provide some meals. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, they're gonna provide some housekeeping, they're gonna provide transportation. Right. But they are still not licensed. They cannot provide medical, but they also typically have home health companies doing rounds. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. So anything that can be prescheduled, I want someone to come by three days a week to stand by while I'm showering.

Speaker 1:

Well, and that might be more of something that a, a person who wants to be around more people rather than like the Dell Webs, which are kind of individual homes that are being built. Yes. In a

Speaker 2:

Community, it's kind of a progression. Okay. You, you have your own house or your own apartment, and then you want to be, I wanna be just around seniors. So you go to Dell Web and very robust, lots of activities and wonderful things, but you have to kind of initiate that mm-hmm.<affirmative>, um, and then into these that are still independent, but it's more congregate living, more apartment style, living with a lot of things just right outside your door Okay. That you don't have to drive to. Okay. Um, and, and the beginning of some medical help by these home health companies that are in their rounding. Okay. But then you get into licensed communities. Okay. Licensed assisted living, uh, memory care operates under an assisted living license, uh, but has a different level of care. So assisted living, um, you're basically gonna get, again, three meals a day in the restaurant. You're gonna get weekly housekeeping, you'll get transportation. A very robust transportation program. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, um, all kinds of activities, just about any card game under the sun.

Speaker 1:

<laugh>, lots of puzzles. I see puzzles all the

Speaker 2:

Time. Bingo. I think it's state law, you have to have bingo. All right. But, uh, you know, just a very active lifestyle. But they have, because of their license, they can bring help to you for your, what's called ADLs, activities of daily living. Okay. Bathing, dressing, toileting, bringing your medications if you're having trouble remembering the right ones to take and win mm-hmm.<affirmative>. And, and they can start that process. Now, there's three levels of licensing for assisted living in the state of Florida. A standard license, I can bathe you dress your toilets, you give you your meds. As long as they're oral meds. I can't do a diabetic injection. I can't administer oxygen, I can't manage a catheter. Okay. Things that are a little bit more clinical. Um, there's, the l n s is the middle license, limited nursing services. They can manage catheters, they can do diabetic injections and things like that. And then the highest level is ecc, extended congregate care. Okay. They can do a feeding tube. Wow. They can do colostomy, they can do a lot of clinical things in the assisted living setting. Hmm. So, I mean, a part of, of, of my process is tell me what's going on clinically. Cuz if you tell me, well, dad has Parkinson's, well, I'm only gonna consider ECC licensed communities cuz there's a, there's a clinical journey for him mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Um, so, you know that that's a, an important factor. A lot of people don't realize you can't just walk into any assisted living and expect that they can give mom her diabetic injection. If she can't do it herself. Many of'em can't.

Speaker 1:

What about Medicare? Does Medicare help cover y any of those levels?

Speaker 2:

A lot of people think so, but no, Medicare is your health insurance. Okay. So Medicare, you go to the hospital, you go to the doctor, or short-term rehab mm-hmm.<affirmative> Medicare will cover, but this is long-term housing. Medicare doesn't pay any of that. Okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. I think there's a, a huge confusion there. Yes, there is. So it's really good to hear you kind of say hard. No. You know, it's like, no, this is insurance. This is living very different things. Right, right. All right. Our conversation today with Dave Stieglitz. He's a certified senior advisor with Oasis Senior Advisors here in Northeast Florida. And when we return, we're gonna continue this conversation. We actually, we used my mom, we, we used your service with my grandmother and, and placed her and, and she's very happy where she is. We're very happy with where she is. So we're gonna get a little bit more into what you guys provide in the next segment. So stick around. Medicare Connect Radio sponsored by Millennium Physician Group will be right back. Welcome back to Medicare Connect Radio, sponsored by Millennium Physician Group. I'm Michelle McCormick. Every week we're talking about the healthcare issues that are important to you. If you're 65 or older, approaching 65, or maybe you're making healthcare decisions for a loved one, we invite providers and experts to share insights, help you take control of your healthcare decisions. Well, when it's time to move your loved one into an assisted living or even memory care, it's a very hard decision whether your loved one is for it or against it. And coming to the realization is hard enough. In this episode, we are talking with Dave Stieglitz. He's a certified senior advisor with Oasis Senior Advisors here in northeast Florida. And Dave, in the first segment, we touched on independent living, uh, assisted living. Let's go back and, and cover next step little bit of memory care and skilled nursing. Sure,

Speaker 2:

Sure. So yeah, there all these different options are out there. So, you know, again, mom's living at home and she says, I'm going out feet first. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, but things happen. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

We know things happen. So, you know, let's talk about, and, and, and people kind of blend these all together mm-hmm. Skilled nursing and assisted living. And especially this generation.

Speaker 1:

Well, a lot of people still call'em nursing homes. Exactly. I mean, that's not even a term we use anymore, is it?

Speaker 2:

It's, no, it's not. And I mean, and that's that paradigm of the older generation, because that's all that they had. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you either put mom in the home mm-hmm.<affirmative> or, or that's it. But the, the, the assisted livings and memory cares these days have come so much farther. And many of our seniors really don't realize how, how, how nice a place that they can be. Um, so when they say, don't put me in the home, they're envisioning skilled nursing. So let's talk about that. Skilled nursing. Um, well, actually assisted living, you can go to assisted living by the state law. You have to be able to be, uh, somewhat weightbearing. Okay. As long as you can put both feet on the ground. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you can be assisted by what they call a two person transfer. That's one person on each elbow. But you've got to be able to put both feet on the ground in this standup and pivot and transfer process. Okay. You can't be, what they call totally bedbound deadweight need a hoyer lift and need a slide bar, some type of mechanical transfer process. As long as you can do that, you can go into assisted living. So a lot of people don't realize that their loved ones can be in a wheelchair Hmm. And go to assist. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, they think that skilled nursing is the only option. So assisted living versus skilled nursing. Skilled nursing is like living in a hospital. It's very clinical hospital beds, buzzes, beepers, things like that. People poking and prodding and, and you know, it's just a very clinical thing. I don't wish skilled nursing on anybody. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

<affirmative>. It's a tough environment in our, in our region. What's an example of a skilled nursing

Speaker 2:

Facility? So, yeah, I mean, life care of Jacksonville Consulate Healthcare. Okay. Um, Cyprus, uh, village Rehab. Okay. Um, St. Catherine's, there's a nu there's probably 30, 40 of them Okay. In, in northeast Florida. Um, but yeah. You're, you're moving into a hospital mm-hmm.<affirmative> situation. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> assisted living. Um, again, as long as you can be somewhat weightbearing, um, you can go into assisted living. You bring your own furniture. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you set up your own apartment. It it's your place. You bring the things that, that are meaningful to you. You, and you do as much for yourself as you can, but they fill in the gaps. They develop a personal care plan. You know, do you need bathing? Do you need help getting on and off the toilet? Are you in incontinent? All of those things can be handled in the assisted living with the personalized care plan. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love how, and my grandmother is in one of the, the centers near here, the assistant living centers, and she wears a, a, a thing around her neck. So if she falls, she can hit, you know, fall and I can't get up, you know. Right. Hit the button. Um, there's always like a rope in the bathroom for, you know, if she can't get up. Right. You know, if something happens, God forbid in the shower or in the, in the bathroom, there's something there for her to reach out Yeah. To someone. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

No, that's, yeah. The, the, the dependence that they give them to wear are, are unique to that community. They're actually GPS monitored and if she's down in the dining room and she pushes her pendant, they're not going to her apartment. Oh. They know that she's in the dining room. That makes sense. Or if she's in a friend's apartment, Uhhuh,<affirmative>, you know, and they're playing cards or something like that and she pushes it, they will know where she is. So,

Speaker 1:

Yeah. That's very nice. Yeah. A little, I don't think I realize that, but it totally makes sense.

Speaker 2:

No, it, it's pretty cool. Yeah. Um, yeah. So they'll, they'll, they'll do all those things again within their licensure, um, what they can do. But it just gives you such a better environment. Um, you know, and, and the meals, they, you know, if, believe me, if the food is bad, they

Speaker 1:

Hear about it. Oh, I know. We hear

Speaker 2:

About it. I mean, they focus on culinary and, but they all have different personalities and culture. Um, and, and that's a, a big thing that we stress is try to make that match. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, cuz this is where you're gonna live. Let's make sure you don't wake up 10 days into it and say, I have nothing in common with these

Speaker 1:

People. Right. And then what I'm doing here, memory care.

Speaker 2:

Memory care. So memory care, a couple of things that would, you know, there's a lot of people that are, you know, conveniently confused or pleasantly confused in assisted living. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Okay. And then they can function just fine with some reminders and things like that. But if it gets to the point where, you know, like with your mom, if, if she's not reading the calendar and she's missing things that, that she would want to go to otherwise, or, you know, she's sitting at the lunch table with three other ladies and they're just chatting away and she's not keeping up mm-hmm.<affirmative>, and she starts to feel something's different. All right. And, and then she starts to, to cocoon. She does, she stops participating because she's not comfortable now that assisted living isn't necessarily the best environment for her. Whereas in memory care where the activities, the, the prompting and queuing is expected, the things that are going on are for people with that dementia. They're, they're, they're geared for that. How to reach them, how to connect with them and pull them out and give them a lifestyle that's appropriate. At some point, the lifestyle and assisted living may not be appropriate. Or mom gets confused and she wanders out the front door onto a major highway. God forbid, that's not a good thing. Yeah. Even the communities aren't good. So, you know, a wander risk or, or just not keeping up and not being able to function and utilize all the, all the advantages for being in assisted living.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So, all right, Dave, tell us about Oasis Senior Advisors. Okay. Then where do you come into all of that?

Speaker 2:

All right. So we are local, obviously. Um, our strength is our personal knowledge of all the licensed communities here in Northeast Florida.

Speaker 1:

And you guys aren't just in northeast Florida,

Speaker 2:

Right? No. We have 114 offices around the country. Okay. Um, but, you know, you know, I couldn't help you in Orlando cause I don't know, my, my strength here is, is here because I know the community's here. Yes. So

Speaker 1:

That's the whole thing. And that's who you wanna work with.

Speaker 2:

And that's, yeah. We wanna work with the local community. So, you know, they all have different personalities and cultures. They all have different strengths and weaknesses. Um, but they all handled Covid and the healthcare staffing thing differently. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Okay. We, we pay attention to that cuz we say every, anybody can find a room. But let's find a community that is really well run, that has stable management, that has stable directors of nursing, stable activity directors, stable caregivers. Cuz the residents pay the price. And, and it, it amazes me, the communities out there that are turning over executive directors every 12 to 18 months, I don't understand that. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you can't establish a team, you can't establish a culture. Right. And, you know, I kind of watch those and say, well, you know, whenever they settle down, we'll refer to them again. Yeah. But you know, it's the old 80 20 rule. We do 80% of our referrals into about 20% of the communities that we know. They have stable management. They did a good job of staffing. You know, they have a good reputation for care. They have good food. Um, and so we guide families. It's not necessarily a place that's right down the road from you mm-hmm.<affirmative> that, you know, and, and you'll walk in there. Oh yeah, yeah. This is great. Come on in. Coming in. Well, you know, after mom's been there three or four months, you're gonna find out all the, all the, all the dirty side.

Speaker 1:

Right. News travels fast. Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So one of the statistics in the, uh, in, in, uh, assisted living is the average day is 18 months. It's a lot of people make that mistake. Hmm. They just go to the first one that's right. Down the road and then they figure out this isn't ready. You know? Okay. For a number of reasons. Yeah. One of the things that we track is, you know, two years later, how many of our clients are still in the community that we found for them. And we're in the 90 percentile on that. Well, that's great. That's very important to us that we make that. Right. Not just clinical match, but cultural and environmental match as well.

Speaker 1:

And what are some, I mean, you definitely mentioned some of the benefits of staying local, but some people might just, you know, I'm, I'm freaking out. My mom is it's time. I, I get on the internet and, and I'm gonna go down a deep dark hole, aren't I?

Speaker 2:

Yes. There, there are, I, I don't want to use the word predatory mm-hmm.<affirmative>, but there are, you know, things out there that sound wonderful. Um, and some of are pretty sneaky. You think you're clicking on a community and you've been captured by one of these online things and, and they're basically a call center mm-hmm.<affirmative> somewhere. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Um, and, you know, the person you're talking to probably has never set foot in Jacksonville, much less set foot actually in any of the communities. They don't know about the licensure, they don't know about the culture or anything. They use the spaghetti on the wall approach mm-hmm.<affirmative>. And they're going to, and, and they, you, you submit your name and phone number and email address, they give that to 1520 communities and then the feeding frenzy starts. Yep. And, and, and you know, they just hope one of them match and, and, and, and they'll send them a bill and, and get it. But it, it's, it's a convoluted approach. Um, we do not share contact information of our clients. If you wanna share it when you're on the tour, cuz we take you on the tour and go with you and hold your hand through the process. Um, it's part of our service, then that's up to you. But you're not gonna get bombarded, uh, by using a local service

Speaker 1:

Course, which is huge, I think. Yeah. I mean, no one has time for that. And you, you kind of touched on this a little bit earlier, but you mentioned your service is free. How is

Speaker 2:

That? Yeah. So it is, I, I love, again, I love that business model and any of people say Yeah, sure. It's

Speaker 1:

From somebody's paying mm-hmm.<affirmative>, right? Somewhat. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, it is, it is different. Kind of like you work with a realtor, all right. And the realtor is free, but if you're selling your house, you sell it by owner for 300, you don't sell it, you bring the realtor in and then you sell it for 3 25 to cover the commission. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. So the first paragraph of our agreement with the communities is your price is your price. You're not gonna charge my client anything different than you would coming off the street, otherwise it's not free. And so, you know, we, we pay attention to that. And from the community side, they're happy to work with us because they know if I'm bringing them someone that I've screened them, that they can afford it. Right. That the clinical side matches and then the cultural side matches. And they're likely to be a more, uh, a longer term resident than some of the folks that come off the street. So they are actually happy to work with us and pay our fee, um, uh, to get the, to get the good client.

Speaker 1:

Well, and Dave, that's a great segue to what's coming up. We are gonna bring on a current client of yours. Her name is Debbie. She in, in full disclosure, she's a friend of mine that I actually referred to you. And we're gonna have a conversation about what she's going through. It's been a really tough time. And your service has really, I think going from hearing about what's happening with her and her mom to what's happening now with her and her mom. I mean, night and day. So we're gonna have a conversation with Debbie when we return. So definitely stick around. We are talking with Dave Stieglitz and certified senior Advisor with Oasis Senior Advisors here in northeast Florida. Medicare Connect Radio sponsored by Millennium Physician Group will be right back. Welcome back to Medicare Connect Radio, sponsored by Millennium Physician Group. I'm Michelle McCormick. Every week we're talking about healthcare issues that are important to you. Whether you're 65 or older, approaching 65, or maybe you're just making healthcare decisions for a loved one who's in their golden years. We're inviting providers and experts to share insights, to help you take control of your healthcare decisions. Well, it's time to move your loved one into assisted living. It's very hard decision whether your loved one is for it or against it. And coming to that realization is hard enough. But what about the plethora of choices about where to go? And this episode, we are talking with a Dave Skelet, a certified senior advisor with Oasis Senior Advisors right here in Northeast Florida. And Dave, thank you for being here today. We have covered, um, a lot of, a lot of information, a lot of good stuff, a lot of good stuff. And how Oasis Senior Advisors really is making choices that you might not otherwise wanna be making a little easier.

Speaker 2:

Right. Cutting through the cutting through the noise. Yeah. To find, to find the best options.

Speaker 1:

Exactly. And, and I know when we used your service for my grandmother, it was post covid or it was like right in the middle of Covid, I think. Yeah. When we needed to move her. And, um, you know, it was a financial for us. It was kind of a little bit financial downsizing from where she had been placed after my grandfather died. And, and, and you were really helpful with that, with, with Oasis Senior Advisors. Joining us now is Debbie, who is a friend of mine who I actually referred to you because I was listening to Debbie tell her story about how her mom was becoming more and more difficult at home alone. And she truly wanted to age in place. But I'm gonna let Debbie tell her story. Debbie, thank you for joining us.

Speaker 3:

You're welcome. Thanks for having me, Michelle.

Speaker 1:

Um, so if you want to give us a little bit of background about what you were going through and when you determined it was, it was time to make a a, a hard decision.

Speaker 3:

Sure. So my mom lived alone. She's 84 years old and her health was declining. She ended up in the hospital several different times throughout the year. She was having a harder time walking. Um, she used a rollator all the time, but it was, that was even getting more difficult. So you thank goodness suggested we talked to Dave, my brother and I, uh, sat down with him and he told us, you know, it would be a great idea for us to go tour some assisted living facilities cuz that's what she, she needed. And we did that with him. And then my brother and I narrowed it down to one that we thought would, um, best suit her needs and she would be happy in. And Dave suggested that we take her because she did not want to move to assisted living. She always said, I'm going to die in my house. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Yeah. And that is a really tough to hear. Um, I know your mom say that. That's not something you ever wanna hear. So, uh, we did bring her to the assisted living facility that we chose, we thought would be best. And she loved it.

Speaker 1:

So Dave, how did you decide which ones to show to Debbie and her family?

Speaker 2:

It's all a part of the process. You know, asking questions, you know, tell me about mom, tell me about what she likes to do, you know, what is, what is going on with her? Picking up, trying to pick up a little bit of the personality. Um, and then yeah, scheduling the tours, taking the family around. They were doing this under the radar. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> mom didn't know mm-hmm.<affirmative>, um, cuz they weren't Right. Ready to, to break it to her yet. Uh, because

Speaker 1:

Does that happen

Speaker 2:

A lot? It does. Yeah. That, that insistence that I'm, I'm going out feet first. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you know, I'm not, I'm gonna die here in the house. I hear that quite frequently. And family members don't know how to deal with that. It's a tough thing. Yeah. But it's always, uh, uh, again, we talked earlier about that paradigm. You know, don't put me in the home. And that's what they think is, is gonna happen there. So if we can, we can look at these places and, and, and, and take, and as we go around, you know, your mom better than I do. Um, but I'm gonna try to find places I think are good, are good match. Excuse me. And then as, as we went through them, I could see their reactions. Yeah. Oh yeah. I think mom would like this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not so sure. And then it was funny, the last one they said, I saw their eyes open up. Wow, this, this really feels like mom.

Speaker 1:

So Debbie, did you think when you were going on this journey that you would find something that your mom would like?

Speaker 3:

Um, I was a little skeptical only because her mindset was, I'm not going to leave my house. Um, but I was hopeful that once we took her, she would be, you know, excited and she was, it was incredible how excited she was. Her eyes lit up, like Dave said. She, um, she looked at all the benefits. There's people there, uh, that are her age and going through kind of the same things. There's activities for her to do. There's nursing care, uh, a hundred, you know, 24 7. Um, it's, and, and she looked at the apartment. It's not a nursing home, it's an actual apartment. She has a key, she can walk into her apartment, you know, she's got a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, uh, and just a smaller space. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. But it's her space, which means she gets to decorate it the way she wants to and she'll be happy

Speaker 1:

There. Yeah. So you feel that she also had something kind of set in her mind that I I'm gonna stay where I'm comfortable, but then didn't realize what the options were out there.

Speaker 3:

Exactly. She had no idea, nor did we until we met Dave and he told us about all the options. And it's a wonderful place. I'm so excited for her as she moves in on Monday.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So Debbie, do you think that was something that you and your brother could have just gone out and done on your own? I mean,

Speaker 3:

Oh no, definitely not. Definitely not. No. Dave was such a big help. Um, he knows the ins and outs, he knows, uh, you know, all of the different facilities and like he said, he knew which ones for us to tour. You know, we narrowed it down to four. And that was because he, like he said, he looked at us, he listened to us, and he decided, okay, these four would probably be best for your mom and your family.

Speaker 1:

Well that's awesome. And, you know, and as far as the cost were, were you surprised at, at the cost of living now moving into assisted living versus her home? Are you gonna sell her home or are you gonna rent her home? What are your next steps?

Speaker 3:

So, um, yeah, I was kind of surprised at the cost, but you know, it's a great place for her to be. So we're gonna make it work. Um, we are gonna rent her home. We're not gonna sell it. So we're gonna use that rent money towards mm-hmm.<affirmative>, reas assisted living facility fees and, you know, other, um, other money that she has. Uh, Dave also put my brother in touch with a gentleman who deals with, uh, VA benefits.

Speaker 1:

That's huge too, especially in our town. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>.

Speaker 3:

Right. We didn't realize that my mom could receive my dad's VA benefits.

Speaker 2:

Many, many, many, yeah. That a lot of the surviving spouses do have no clue. A lot of the veterans themselves mm-hmm.<affirmative> have no clue that being attendance pension is out there, but especially the surviving spouses. And it's, it's paying$1,433 a month this year. It's a, it's a difference maker and

Speaker 1:

It is a process and it is not something you can do alone. We, we went down that, that very bumpy road Yeah. As well. Yeah. The VA and having that connection through working with, with someone like you is huge. Debbie, let me ask you a question with your mom. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> did, did her primary care provider ever say, you know, it's time for you to start looking and maybe think about moving into a assisted living facility at all?

Speaker 3:

Um, I, I discussed it with him and he thought it was a fantastic idea that she really would benefit from it now at her age and with the condition that she's in. And actually the facility that we chose, uh, turns out that his mother-in-law was there and he used to go over on Friday nights and watch movies and eat popcorn with her.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. That's awesome. Our physicians are the same way. You know, they, I think they finally get to a point where with caregivers, they, they start to gently make those decisions. And, and we're, we're gonna be working with Oasis Senior Advisors throughout the state of Florida for all of our, our primary care patients. Um, you know, the over half million that we have in the state of Florida, but over our 800 providers, having that ability to reach out to somebody that has the knowledge in their area is, is super important. So, Debbie, is there anything else you'd like to leave people with when they're trying to make these tough decisions?

Speaker 3:

Um, well the other thing that Dave, um, helped us with was finding a transition team, which was really important. So they will come in and, um, move my mom's furniture, the furniture that we tagged for her to go with her, and then they'll, uh, auction the other items, Laura. See

Speaker 1:

That's, that's huge. And so Dave, your service, you have that on the backside too, to help with the downsizing? Yeah.

Speaker 2:

The, the, a lot of folks are just, oh, the, the idea of downsizing just overwhelms them. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, they don't know how to take the first step. And Yes. So one of the things we do besides us, you know, finding and, and, and showing the, the options in assisted living is connecting to other resources. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, you know, an expert for VA benefits, cuz you try to go get those on your own. You're navigating the government benefit process mm-hmm.<affirmative> and, and it can be a nightmare. And then yeah. Helping with downsizing, helping with moving, you know, uh, a rental property manager so that we have a sustainable income that we try to put together versus just selling it and getting a, a pool of money that can be exhausted in the future. A lot of strategic Oh, that's good.<laugh>.

Speaker 1:

That's

Speaker 2:

A good word. That's a, yeah. There's a lot of strategic going into all

Speaker 1:

This here. Yeah, sure. You know, it is, it, it's mind blowing parts.

Speaker 2:

And, and we will connect folks with you if they need an elder law, if they haven't done their POAs and their advanced directives and stuff like that. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, uh, there, there's a lot of different, uh, uh, resources out there that we connect people

Speaker 1:

With. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, Debbie, I totally appreciate it and I'm glad your mom is excited about her move coming up next week. Me too. And I can't wait to, you know, follow up with you and, and hear how that, um, how that adjustment is going for her.

Speaker 3:

Great. Yes. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I'm, I'm glad. Hopefully I can help other people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. I totally appreciate you telling your story and I, I know it's been a, a long road and I think you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

Speaker 3:

Definitely.

Speaker 1:

All right. When we return, we're gonna continue our conversation with Dave, with senior with Oasis Senior Advisors. So stick around. Medicare Connect Radio sponsored by Millennium Physician Group will be a ride back. Welcome back to Medicare Connect Radio, sponsored by Millennium Physician Group. I'm Michelle McCormick. Every week we're talking about healthcare issues that are important to you. Whether you're 65 or older, approaching 65, or just making healthcare decisions for a loved one. We're inviting providers and experts to share insights to help you take control of your healthcare decisions. This episode we have been talking about moving your loved one into assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing even came up too. It's such a hard decision and your loved one may be for it or maybe against it coming to that realization super hard. But what about the choices about where to go? We have been talking with Dave St. Letz, a certified senior advisor with Oasis Senior Advisors here in Northeast Florida. And Dave, we have touched on a lot today. Let's summarize some of what we were talking about. We, we discussed early on the differences between independent living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing, and what's a best fit. So let's kind of just summarize that a little bit for the listeners and then we're gonna talk, you know, about what we just talked about with Debbie really about that move.

Speaker 2:

Sure, sure. Yeah. So skilled nursing is very institutional. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. And it's like living in a hospital. It, it, it is truly the end of life. And, and it's what the old-fashioned nursing homes were like. Um, and a lot of our seniors these days have that image in their mind when they say, you know, when the subject of assisted living comes up, they've got that all painted with the same brush. Assisted living is so different. It is your own apartment. You bring your own furniture, you do as much for yourself as you can, but the community's there too assist you. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, Vince assisted living. You know, if you just need a little bit of assistance with bathing or you need some reminders for your meds, or you really, you're just tired of, of cooking and cleaning and you want your meals and housekeeping or you've lost your

Speaker 1:

Driver's license,

Speaker 2:

Sounds great to me. And now your world has shrunk and you need the transportation programs mm-hmm.<affirmative> or you're just, you know, your community has turned over and there's nobody there for you to socialize with anymore. And you just need some people your own age and, and, and that do the things you want to do that you can. So there's so many excellent reasons to consider this. And you know, nobody, you know, we, we do a lot of planning. We plan for retirement, we plan for vacations, we plan for this. But nobody plans for assisted living. It's not like you wake up in the morning and say, Woohoo, I'm going to assisted living today. Yeah. You know, that's not, and it's usually thrust upon you, but, you know, some people ask, when is the time to go or when is the time to think about this? I love meeting with clients that are actually planning a lady. She just, she just retired. She turned 65. She's not ready at all for years, but she says, I wanna learn what's out there. And I took her, I took her to some of, some of the CRCs, like the fleet landings. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> and the Cypress Villages, the buy-in communities. Cuz she had the wherewithal

Speaker 1:

For that. Well, and they have waiting lists too, don't

Speaker 2:

They? They have waiting list. Yeah. Yeah. And I took her to some rental communities, which is the majority of what's out there. I just, I showed her an overview across section of what those are. Like. She was very appreciative. She says, I have such a better understanding of this now that I've seen it. I think

Speaker 1:

That's a really good point. I mean, we are living longer and maybe we're working longer too, but that planning piece seems to be missing.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Most, I mean, 95% of my clients, it's a crisis call. You know, mom's in the hospital and, and we, you know, we can't take her back home. But do

Speaker 1:

You find yourself planning therapist a lot in your role?

Speaker 2:

Yes. Talking people off the cliff mm-hmm.<affirmative> and, and, and, and, and through the whole process.

Speaker 1:

Well, you are an advisor. We are

Speaker 2:

An advisor and, and we're here to help you through this and it's not gonna be as bad as you think it is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So let's go through those first steps with, with Oasis. You know, you make the phone call you, we find you on the internet because we wanna stay local.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yes. Use your local with local knowledge and, and, and, and, and local expertise and which is our strength. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Um, but yeah, so we start the conversation, tell me about mom. Tell me what's going on. You know, what did she used to do? What does she like? Is she a foodie? Is she crafty, is she spiritual? You know, um, on, on on that cultural side because all these communities are different. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> and they, you know, it's amazing. Somebody mom's a big bridge player. Well, you know, it was not that easy to find communities that actually had bridge clubs. Oh, you think that would be automatic? You would like bingo. Right. But actually bridge is not as as common. So, you know, we, we found the communities that had the bridge clubs that could do that. Hmm. Or mom's into a book club or mom's into, you know, spiritual things or, or, or she, you know, she needs a really strong and robust culinary program cuz she's very particular about her food. Hmm. Um, so a lot of different things go into the matchmaking process, which is what we consider ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. You are doing that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. We're matching up what mom, you know, who mom is, who dad is, what they like to do with the communities that provide those. Cuz they don't all provide that.

Speaker 1:

Well. And I feel if I was just walking into one of those places by myself, it would be more of a sales technique. They're like, they're just selling me their community. Right. And, and it might sound great on paper until you get in

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah. They want to capture you. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, they want to take your round peg and smash it into their square hole. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Right. And all you, this is gonna be great for you and all and all, you know, three months later, 60 days later, you wake up and you look around. I have nothing in common with these people. And this is where you're, you know, you don't, you know, you, when you move communities, when you change in your hou in your life, when you've bought houses, you kinda researched them. What's the school district? You know, what's this neighborhood like? Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, what's gonna be closed? What's the drive time? You know, all the, you do a lot of research before you buy a house. Should do a lot of research before you go to where you're gonna live in an assisted living or memory care community.

Speaker 1:

You are right on about that. It, it, and then Debbie in our last segment was just talking about that and, and you narrowed it down to four communities for them. And, and they didn't, they did kind of did it on the down low. You know, they weren't ready to tell mom. And when they did and they took her into where she's moving next week, she was really excited about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. The tours are a big part of our process. Once, once we get that basic information and then I match up and then say, let's go tour. And I always go with my families because, you know, I know what they've told me. The salesperson at the community maybe has, you know, a set list, oh, we're gonna go over this, this, this, this, this and this wants to wait, this is what's important to this family. Talk about how you're gonna meet these needs, these specific things. The bridge club, you know, the food program, the thing, you know, the, the how do you handle catheters mm-hmm.<affirmative> and, and things like that. If that's what mom has. So, you know, I go on the tour and then go with it and, and you know, I I've, I've been given, you know, an hour or two hour introduction to mom, but I don't know her like they do. So when they go through and they see they'll, they'll fine tune that from the four to the one. You know, it was, it was, when we walked into that one and, and looked around, they came out, this is the one that mom's gonna like mm-hmm.<affirmative>. They knew

Speaker 1:

It. They knew. That is awesome. Yeah. Well, Dave, um, you're super passionate about this and, and I love that you've helped both my family and, and Debbie's family and, and many, many other families. And not just with touring, but with the after, you know, the downsizing, the move, the actual like process. How, how do we pay for it? The benefits? Yes. Yep. And so how can people find you specifically?

Speaker 2:

So, uh, yeah, Oasis senior advisors.com/jacksonville. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, um, is our official website. We have an easier one, Oasis jax oh.com. There you go. So it's a mirror site. Uh, but it just takes a lot of the letters out<laugh>.

Speaker 1:

It does oasis jax

Speaker 2:

Oasisjax.com. Yeah. Um, and, and we're there and we have a team of five excellent advisors here in northeast Florida. Very passionate, very wonderful folks. So, you know, pick who you wanna work with. Give

Speaker 1:

Me a call. Yeah. Well you work with your wife too, right? Yes, yes. So, so you know, it's a family friendly environment and we told

Speaker 2:

Each other it's a wonderful thing.

Speaker 1:

<laugh>, kudos to you. I couldn't work with my husband, but I also have a phone number too. I have(904) 204-8324.

Speaker 2:

Okay. Yeah. That, that's

Speaker 1:

<laugh>. Is that a good number? It

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's the website number cuz they track. Oh, okay. It's actually not, it, it, it's a made up Google number. Oh, the actual number's. 9 0 4 3 8 6 5 7 0 8. Okay.

Speaker 1:

There you go. Say that one again.

Speaker 2:

9 0 4 3 8 6 5 7 0 8. All

Speaker 1:

Right. And what, what would you just like to leave the listeners with today about Oasis? Senior Advisors?

Speaker 2:

We're local. We free, we truly are free. We are the, the knowledge experts. Why would you go this alone if we're out here to help you?

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. I agree. I agree. And, and I know, um, millennium loves working with you guys. And, and, um, when our patients, when we get to that point, you know, I think our doctors are very much, just like Debbie was saying, her primary care doctor was very much like good decision. We're happy that you've come to this realization. So thank you Dave. Appreciate you being here today. Thank

Speaker 2:

You.

Speaker 1:

The conversation will continue. Next time on Medicare Connect Radio. Millennium aims to create a genuinely connected healthcare experience for patients by providing a comprehensive and coordinated approach to healthcare. And we wanna be your connection to a healthier life. Learn more and schedule your next primary care. Visit us online at www.millenniumphysician.com in good health. I'm Michelle McCormick. Have a great day.

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